Lack of motivation- Where does it come from?

This email came in from one of my online coaching students. As I replied to her I thought I would post my answer and see what my readers thoughts are on this topic.

It was interesting to me that the key to her procrastination might lie in the information she gives about her feelings.  As you read her questions see if you can hear what might be going on for her.  Perhaps it isn’t a lack of motivation.  Look for my response to see how I re-framed this problem.   Do you agree with my advice, do you think you would give different advice.  I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Question from online coaching student: I would like to be more clear about my concerns of lack of motivation. Something as  simple as going to get just a glass of water, and I’ll procrastinate to get it. I know what my feelings are because I’m aware of my thoughts.

Lately I’ve been feeling sad because nobody really looks out for me, they don’t include me in their world. Audrey what can I do to reverse feeling so lonely and alone. And I feel so bad that I would like to take my children out, but I feel lack of self confidence to do that, because of the worry about anxiety and panic.

I’m working on doing what you asked and looking for what is going on underneath, so I can discover what am I telling myself that’s creating the negative feelings. I feel like I’m on a stand still.

I’m also starting to feel jaded.

Audrey’s answer: Dear   _______,  we will certainly work on these issues in class in 2 weeks.  But until then I have a few thoughts that you might want to play with. Actually you are doing a great job of “listening” to your thoughts that are creating the feelings. As you know that is the first step.

First thought that I hear:  “No one looks out for me.”

Second thought:  “They don’t include me in their world”

Yes, that would make anyone sad, I know it feels like that, interesting thing is that the “others” you are thinking about might just have a different point of view or reason for doing what they do or don’t do.  We’ll talk about “mind reading” and stories in our next session. I’ll give you the step by step directions for changing stories that hurt, to other “possible” stories that feel better and are better for you well being.  This is just a short glimpse, so for now you can just think about what I am saying.

Here is something you can do right now, this very day:  I want to ask you to do this little experiment.  Instead of thinking or telling yourself that you lack motivation: I’m gong to use the getting a glass of water issue that you label lack of motivation and procrastination.   Ask yourself, what am I feeling that I won’t  go get a glass of water?  (do your best not to analyze it for now)

Want to learn how to create a “filter” so you can
automatically filter out harmful “thoughts”
Would you like to learn how to stay centered and calm?
Begin today by downloading your first “tool” for
getting your own mind into a calm receptive state.
And then join us for the coaching class that shows you how.

Sign in at the top right side of this page

You will get the instructions to 2 exercises.
1. A powerful breathing exercise
to change your state of mind,
2. A second exercise
to help change negative thinking.

So do this now, download
the easy to learn exercises
by signing in at the upper right side of this page.
You will be sent the written instructions as a PDF.

If you would like to learn
using other techniques from the Transformation System
to quiet stress and anxiety
go to action ends procrastination

Our next class is on
July 15,  2010.
Looking forward to you becoming a part
of 
this supportive online community.